@DurtMcHurtt: People who leave their underwear at parks are either awesome at sex or terrible at dressing raccoons.
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@RealPrincessKim: Find a group doing river baptisms. Release LSD into the water upstream. Bring friends in devil costumes. Cavort and frolic on the riverbank.
@Barknado69: Amoeba: dad, how was I made? Amoeba Dad: well son, when a man loves himself very much
@david8hughes: When I see a guy sleeping on an unfolded cardboard box, I never know if he's homeless or just tired from breakdancing.
@tiffinysawyers: Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I'm available.