@DurtMcHurtt: People who leave their underwear at parks are either awesome at sex or terrible at dressing raccoons.
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@PLATINUM2000: My daughter thought putting glue on her hands would help her walk up the walls, we're both a little disappointed that it didn't work.
@NicestHippo: I was on my way to commit a heinous act of religiously motivated violence but then I saw a Coexist bumper sticker
@jonnysun: why do birds sudenly appear every time you are near and how do u always manage to fit that many birds in ur mouth to begin with