@13spencer: People who like "The Bachelor" are like racists; you know they're out there, but you just hope your friends don't feel that way.
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@AbrasiveGhost: Wife: u can take Max to the park but ur not gonna wrestle other ppls dogs Me in a spandex singlet: Im 16-0 Karen I have a title to uphold
@Ms_Shazam: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." - Me to my children.
@MomOnFire: One day, when my kids are grown with their own homes, I'll come over, grind food into all of their keyboards and lie about it.
@jazmasta: Just been doing some DIY using my stepladder. Not my real ladder. I never knew my real ladder.