@RefractReality: People who live in stone houses can throw all the glass they want.
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@TuffyNyC: My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear.
@jimmytorosian: Me: That tree is impeckable "Don't you mean impeccable?" *cut to woodpecker with a broken beak* Me: No. Also how did you pick up on that?
@squidswards: Teachers are sometimes like an alarm clock. They won't shut up when you're trying to sleep.