@JermHimselfish: People who make up phrases and try to pass them off as popular sayings are just throwing meat to the monkeys in the middle of a maelstrom.
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@dulcetry: My son will never know the thrill of illegally downloading Thong Song on napster and waiting 1h39m for it to download
@trilldrone: "911 what's your em-" STAMPEDE "slow down sir" IN THE GORGE "sir I'm gonna need you t-" SIMBAS DOWN THERE
@daemonic3: [helping kid w/math] What is 0.1 as a fraction? "One tenth?" Good, now what does 10% mean? "Battery low, plug in your phone?" Perfect
@0point5twins: If you see a girl crying, a nice thing to do is show your compassionate side and ask if it's because of her haircut.