@JermHimselfish: People who make up phrases and try to pass them off as popular sayings are just throwing meat to the monkeys in the middle of a maelstrom.
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@ArfMeasures: THERAPIST: What do you wish for? WIFE: That we become closer again & [smiles at me] focus on the important things ME: For the dog to talk
@panmidwest: Friend: you should come over tonight. we're watching 'How to Train Your Dragon 2' Me: Friend: Me: to what? Friend:
@AtticusFinch79: [God creating bees] GOD: make some of them fuzzy ANGEL: thats good G: make them sting A: okay G: and let's give them teeth! A: too far
@OtherDanOBrien: *Detective stands over murder victim* This looks like a case of... *Takes off sunglasses* *Removes contacts* *Brushes teeth* *Goes to bed*