@pizzajaynow: People who only tweet inspirational stuff are the same people who reminded their school teacher about homework assignments.
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@sara_ashlynn: My teen yelled at me for not waking her up for school. She's in the shower & I'm wondering when she realizes it's Sunday. This is beautiful.
@curlycomedy: I like when players of opposite teams hug after the game as if to say, "We're all so very, very rich."
@schumyxxx: When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?", I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too?".