@markleggett: People who push and shove to get on a flight before other passengers are possibly going to get to their end destination one second faster.
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@aka_fatman: Sure, your carpenter could turn water into wine, Father. Now let ME tell you about a plumber who can increase his size by eating mushrooms.
@iCumBl00d: Why do they hand out Kleenex at funerals if you're not supposed to jerk off in the back row
@TheNardvark: One time my dad caught me smoking an e-cig so he took me out to the shed and made me smoke an entire VCR.