@junejuly12: People who say 45 minutes past the hour are the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 months old
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@dafloydsta: WIFE: Your heavy drinking is making you delusional ME: *turns to friend* Do you think that's true? WOLVERINE: Nah, don't listen to her
@Elizasoul80: When I misplace something and you say "where did you have it last" I feel like you don't know what misplace means.
@1_swarthy_dude: You have to kiss a lot of short, black, flamboyant musicians before you can find your Prince.