@junejuly12: People who say 45 minutes past the hour are the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 months old
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@Home_Halfway:  ME: I'm gonna tickle you! CAPTAIN: Hahaha come on stop ME: Tickle tickle! CAPTAIN: Haha stop it, I gotta drive this huge ship ME: Tickling you more! CAPTAIN: Hahahaha hold on hold on lemme get us around this iceberg
@violet_heartin: *strips & lies on the couch* Me: Draw me like the one of your French girls. Cop sketch artist: For the last time, get out of my house.
@paulrobalino: Girl, is your dad Louis Vuitton? Because you have such big bags under your eyes. Wait am I doing this right
@GaryJanetti: Before you tell me anything about your kid you should know I'm going to mentally leave my body.