@junejuly12: People who say 45 minutes past the hour are the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 months old
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@Tommytoughstuff: *Puts air guitar back in air case* "Listen if you wanted a "real guitarist" maybe you should put that in the ad!"
@KateWhineHall: "...This one is TOO big. This one is JUST right." -my daughter, picking out her preferred public toilet.
@thetits: Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man out of a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
@Chumpstring: GENIE: you have three wishes ME: make math go away GENIE: ha ok that one's on the house ME: oh so I still get three wishes? GENIE: huh?