@junejuly12: People who say 45 minutes past the hour are the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 months old
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@Reverend_Scott: WORM 911: what's ur emergency FLATWORM: I CUT MYSELF BAD WORM 911: u need medical help? FLATWORM: wait, there's 2 of me now. we're good.
@GhostPanther: If I say "last Star Wars" and u say "Actually you mean 3rd Star Wars! It's a prequel!" I'm going to hit u with a fish tank.
@iwearaonesie: the dog ran into a fence chasing a squirrel. she doesn't look anything like me but she's mine. i can tell