@NonCombosMentos: People who say "adorbs" make me miserbs
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: Raising two kids on my own has been a real struggle. WIFE: I'm only gone for two days. ME: They call me momdad now, which is bittersweet
@clyderun: At the bar I got into a factual debate with another patron. He pulled the "I have a PhD" card. Now he has a PhD AND a fork in his eye.
@mallelis: we put a man on the moon but we can't keep him there. he keeps coming back. you stay on the moon. you stay there.