@NonCombosMentos: People who say "adorbs" make me miserbs
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: When your friend tells you she's thinking about adopting and you get really disappointed when you find out she means a human.
@thenatewolf: Netflix: we are the top online streaming service. Best in the world. Me: can I rewind 10 seconds without ruining everything? Netflix: no
@WheelTod: My dad, a pilot rescued on French soil, behind a hidden wall panel with 8 Jewish children as the Nazis search, quietly opens a bag of chips
@jjhartinger: I'm curious about the first person who saw an egg drop out of a chicken & said, "I'm going to eat that."