@NonCombosMentos: People who say "adorbs" make me miserbs
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@Ham_Tornado: New children's book I'm working on: "Nobody poops but you, you disgusting little freak".
@ChiefTwittler: Probing: Aliens have had plenty of time to figure out our biology -now they're just having fun.
@iamspacegirl: ME *sees baby crab in stroller*: He's so cute! I just wanna rip his lil legs off dip em in butter and eat them! MOM CRAB *beaming*: thank u
@OhNoSheTwitnt: (Me giving a Rorschach test) What do you see? Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one? Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again.