@GotBadTouched: People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
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@slyoung5: Have you ever noticed that Santa brings better gifts to the kids that have rich parents?
@ArfMeasures: DOCTOR: Don't be embarrassed. Taking trousers off is normal for a prostate exam. ME: Err yeah I guess. Should I take mine off too?
@notalogin: My favorite part of a date is the sweet, seedy flesh. Wait, sorry, that's my favorite part of a fig, I always get figs and dates mixed up.