@MrFornicator: People who say gays are destroying the fabric of society have obviously never seen what a gay man can do with fabric.
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@zachreinert03: My ultimate dream is to move back home, open up a bar and run it with all of my friends, and then burn it down for the insurance money
@TheAlexNevil: Can't wait to one day be a grandparent, to see my adorable grandson misbehave, then look at my son and say "Annoying, huh?"
@funnybeachgirl: Kegels: because how else are you supposed to grind fresh coffee beans during a power outage?
@AndrewChamings: (god creating crows) black. blacker! little beady eyes. deathly squawk angel: what if there’s a bunch of them god: MURDER angel: you ok pal?