@MrFornicator: People who say gays are destroying the fabric of society have obviously never seen what a gay man can do with fabric.
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@offbeatoliv: Sister: "Family shot time" Me: "Whooo Hoooo....drink drink drink drink!" Sister: [holds up camera] "I want to take a picture" Me: oh
@GoldenSpirals: Coworker sneezed, and said "Oh my. I don't know where that came from." I'm no Scientist, but I'm pretty sure it came from her nose.
@WalkingOutside: I let my baby girl know she can do anything. Except taking the bow out of her hair cuz IT'S REALLY CUTE AND SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE IT ALONE.
@NotChuckBarkley: Is Miley Cyrus pregnant? Will The government stay shut down? Will the GTA online servers work? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z