@notalogin: People who say "go big or go home" seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. Like, it's literally my only goal for most of the day.
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@UncleDuke1969: She has a rye sense of humor & great buns. I'm her hero, although I don't have much dough. I can't wheat to see her! I'm in loaf.
@robdelaney: Maybe Van Gogh cut his ear off because someone traveled back in time and whispered a Drake song in it.
@audipenny: Do you think the rattlesnake is ever embarrassed that he has a stupid baby toy at the end of his string body
@mattZillaaaa: I like to flush the toilet a few times when I'm on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again