@badAzz_mom: People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
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@matt___nelson: *walks up to dealer* I would like 3 weeds please "Are you a cop?" No I love crime and tomfoolery "..." Could I also get a bushel of cocaine?
@internetluke: *gets on 1 knee* Jenny... "OMG" *places hand on heart and starts crying* "This is great!" *gets on 2nd knee* I'm having a heart attack
@MrsTomServo: I like when a restaurant has cloth napkins, 'cause then I can unroll them with the calculated fervor of an assassin surveying his tools.