@JimmerThatisAll: People who say "in and of itself" are responsible for most of the trouble in the world.
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@Reverend_Scott: Wife: "If I died, would you remarry?" Me: "Yup." Wife: "And you'd even let her use my golf clubs??" Me: "No silly! She's left handed."
@MollyERA: "IF YOU'RE HAVING KNITTING PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON--" "stop rapping, Grandma" "--I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND A STITCH AIN'T ONE"
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Sarah Palin's new Christmas book is her attempt at valuing the sanctity Christmas so she can sell books and make money just like baby Jesus.