@LoveNLunchmeat: People who say losing weight is "just math" clearly have no idea how far out of my way I go to avoid math.
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@Jake_Vig: When someone walks into a room, I like to tap the person next to me and in a loud stage whisper say "Is that who you were telling me about?"
@lalastrailer: If I had a dollar for everyone I work with who's dumber than me, I'd have $11 cause I work for a small company.
@SlipCarefully: To avoid looking at the glass as half empty or full, i drink straight from the bottle.
@ericsshadow: 20 yr old mom: my child is my life I would give my own life for him 40 yr old mom: GET OFF THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW OR I WILL END YOU