@LoveNLunchmeat: People who say losing weight is "just math" clearly have no idea how far out of my way I go to avoid math.
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@Eightinchgoat: My neighbor seriously just asked me, "Does Canada have 4th of July?" I said "No, they skip from the 3rd to the 5th, eh? I need to move.
@WeissBrandon: Me: I'm going bungee jumping Mom: y? Me: my friend John is Mom: so if John jumped off of a bridge, would you? Me: that's what I just told u
@DougBenson: I don't like it when my phone puts a word in "quotals" like I made it up or I'm stupid or something.