@rikpayne: People who say "Money doesn't grow on trees" don't understand the paper making process.
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@DanMentos: *chad kroeger walks through metal detector at airport* TSA agent: I've never seen this low of a reading
@ginger_xtc: build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
@LoveNLunchmeat: upon my death: 1. tell my kids I loved them 2. give my daughter my jewelry 3. leave french fries in my coffin, just in case