@rikpayne: People who say "Money doesn't grow on trees" don't understand the paper making process.
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@rockymomax: [in hell journal day 211] I've asked if it was hot in here 932 times in 211 days. the dark lord is angry but he has nowhere else to send me
@therealeatwood: BOB: Hey boss can I get another raise SCROOGE: But I just gave you… B: What’s that over there, is it a gho-o-o-ost?? Ooooooooo S: OK! OK!
@squirrel74wkgn: [at work] Carl, did you get naked when you used the bathroom? *standing there with his shirt & pants on backwards* "No...why do you ask?"