@rikpayne: People who say "Money doesn't grow on trees" don't understand the paper making process.
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@WilliamRodgers: My daughter does this thing where she copies EVERYTHING the dog does; Bark, beg, fetch etc. It was adorable! Until the dog humped the couch
@yoopnative: I'm broke but not "vacuums the air filter* instead of replacing it" broke. *more than twice.
@Savage_Scavange: Never really had a nickname in my life.. Except maybe that one time a bunch of chumps called me "The defendant" for a full day.
@JessObsess: I tell people I'm narcoleptic so if I fall asleep when they're talking to me I don't seem rude.