@tracyofthenorth: People who say "seriously, another one?" after your 3rd slice of pizza are not people you need in your life.
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@TwoSapphiresBlu: During pelvic exam: Dr.: Your cervix is very high. Me: OMG, weed affects your cervix too?!
@NotThatKristi: My jeans say "no more Christmas goodies" but my leggings are like "we got you, gurrrl"
@rage_chaos: "LSD Makes Users Lose Weight" That makes sense. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.
@Celestinelea90: My heart says cheese dip but my jeans say for the love of god woman eat some celery.