@lloydrang: People who say they are "comfortable in their own skin," scare me because I wonder how they know what it's like to wear someone else's skin
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [dog wedding] [Bride throws bouquet into crowd] [Groom catches it, gives it back to Bride] [Bride throws bouquet again] [Groom catches..
@Flattliner: Whoever said that blood is thicker than water is plainly a) Fond of stating the obvious, and b) Not a member of my family.
@DouchyDocLove: Wife just changed her Facebook status to "It's complicated." Better go see what she wants.
@zachreinert03: Any dance can be a no pants dance. In fact, might be a fun way to bring back the Macarena