@tsm560: People who say they'll be late for their own funeral*
*trust me. you'll make it.
@aidanjsears: *sees a car with a "how am i driving" bumper sticker*
*calls the phone number*
ME: buddy i think it's with a steering wheel
@GabbbarSingh: All good students of Astrology drop out midway after they learn enough to find out. :)
@ItsAndyRyan: Don't cry for me, Argentina,
Keep your face dry, Dubai,
No tears, Algiers,
Or from you, Peru,
Now Oman, no cry.
@SweatyJester: If a picture says a thousand words, why do you need 22 hashtags on your Instagram photographs?
@ch000ch: "My fellow Americans-"
"we are working tirelessly-"
"to make sure-"
Barack. You're still wearing ur xbox headset