@CarrieMayhem: People who say "you can run but you can't hide" have never played hide & seek with me.. or seen me run.
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@kwirkyKerri: Facebook tells me those vans are dangerous, but Twitter says they have candy. So conflicted.
@T_N_Crumpets: Rival Gang Leader: Me: Rival Gang Leader's mom: [nudges son] go on Rival Gang Leader: sorry I tried to shoot you
@Stap_Jr: I’ve seen enough movies to know that when you wake up in a hospital bed, you rip all the cords off because you’ve got work to do.