@beefman138: People who scream on roller-coasters : Did you not expect it to go fast down the hill?
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@KeetPotato: gang leader: "this isnt what i meant when i said go rob the store" me: [putting 19 cartons of milk in fridge] "you should be more specific"
@Thee1_4U: Well well well, if it isn't the guy who hired me looking over my shoulder, watching me stare at my phone... Brb.
@wtfhuman: Is it 5 seconds from when it hits the floor or when I see it? I just noticed a skittle under my desk. I don't remember eating skittles.