@beefman138: People who scream on roller-coasters : Did you not expect it to go fast down the hill?
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@Aspersioncast: Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they're stabbing it? No? How about now?
@FrancysNjoroge: Please do not throw cigarette butts into the urinals, as it makes them soggy and very hard to light -Bathroom graffiti
@shawnspree: My wife hates the way I introduce her to people in public. "THIS is my wife.." *looks down at the ground *sighs *kicks can
@thejamietighe: *rides in on giant turtle* Me:Sorry I'm late. Boss:You rode that to work? Me:No, went to the zoo. *phone rings* Me:That'll be the zoo.