@TheTweetOfGod: People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.
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@ericsshadow: If your girlfriend says she's going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall... You might be dating my wife.
@SamGrittner: When a woman asks me how long I can last in bed I tell her it depends on how long someone brings me food and water but probably years.
@RunwayDan: Sorry I embarrassed you when I tried to draft Smaug, but I totally misunderstood the concept of a Fantasy football league.