@NervousJr: People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.
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@Ghetto_Trophy: Imagine if people still used typewriters! We'd have to sit in a giant circle and throw pieces of paper at each other.
@CrazyUncIeJoe: How girls put on their pants: *Left leg*, *Right leg*, '' Wiggle*, *Wiggle*, *twerk*, *Jump*, *Jump*, *Squat*, *Stretch* Done.
@SouthernStylin1: 9 called to ask how much bleach it takes to get purple ink out of carpet and because she's so cute and at her dad's I went with all of it!
@Iwriteforcats: Meteorologist - Be horrible at you job and no one really cares. Pizza Delivery Driver - Be five minutes late and people lose their minds!