@_davidlucas_: People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.
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@Underchilde: My wife told me to strive for perfection, so I divorced her and started dating a swimsuit model.
@TheRohiniReddy: I want to have kids before my parents are too old to be able to take care of them.
@Elizasoul80: I walk around in public saying "wait for me guys" so everyone thinks I have friends.
@Home_Halfway: I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my phone so you can shut the hell up about your "scary" battle at Normandy, grandpa.