@_davidlucas_: People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.
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@WheelTod: I used to complain about crying babies on airplanes but last week I was flying, both pilots died & a crying baby landed us on a soccer field
@ImSoFrancis: [if my brain were a computer] uhg why's the calculator app being so slow *closes math tab to reveal 53 other tabs all playing cottoneye joe*
@TweetPotato314: I want to win a contest where you get a line in a movie. And I want that line to be about the chili dog I’m eating. And I’m going to keep screwing up that line. And they’re going to have to keep bringing me chili dogs.