@_davidlucas_: People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.
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@leslid79: 1. Change last name to Crunch. 2. Join the military. 3. Work my way up to Captain. 4. Become Captain Crunch. 5. WIN LIFE
@librarianfonz: There are gravy trains and boats. I wonder what gravy did to get on a no-fly list.
@heatherlou_: Google just alerted me to light traffic in my area which is odd because I'm in the bathtub.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: When driving: *shakes fist at pedestrians* When walking: *shakes fist at motorists* When running: *shakes fist at the murderer chasing me*