@TheCatWhisprer: People who write "loosing" when they mean "losing" need to get loost.
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@SaltyCorpse: I hate when I get branded "Meanest Mom" so early in the morning. It gives me nothing to shoot for the rest of the day.
@FrenulumBreve: "hello pretty lady." [i slide down the bar] "what's your name?" i say as i casually toss a peanut in my eye.
@E_lok44: The biggest problem with prison is that you can only rearrange your cell in so many ways because of where the toilet is.
@CrystalTheRed: Laundry Day Me: Tell me about this lipstick on your shirt. Him: Babe, I can explain! Me: Don't care. Just ask her the brand and shade name.