@TheCatWhisprer: People who write "loosing" when they mean "losing" need to get loost.
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@juanadog: Saw a sign on the highway that said "Kill or Injure a Road Worker: $7,500" but it doesn't tell me where to pick up the money...
@JoshuaHvr: Boss: "Are you texting?" Me: "No, I'm Tweeting." Boss: "What's the difference?" Me: "Texting would imply that I have friends."
@BuckyIsotope: Were PacMan and Ms.PacMan married or brother and sister? Have some fanfic that's either really awesome or really disturbing riding on this.
@Pro_Jones_: *Listening to red hot chili peppers* Me: You call that music? I can't even hear anything! Worker: Sir, stop putting produce to your ear.