@Thrill_Tweeter: People with FB statuses like, "I'm so angry right now", then when someone says, "What's up?" they reply, "I'll text you." WHAT ABOUT US?
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@david8hughes: [describing criminal to sketch artist] No, his eyes were closer together than that, like a concussed mouse. He had a Spanish skeleton.
@SocialustGal13: My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That's the last time we're playing Monopoly.
@3sunzzz: [sips martini] *sigh* [sips margarita] Now THIS ONE is delicious! Waiter: Ma'am, you can't try drinks on other tables. Please sit down.
@Ideal_Victoria: I really hope that people are staring at me because they think I'm pretty and not because I slipped on ice and into a parked car.