@Thrill_Tweeter: People with FB statuses like, "I'm so angry right now", then when someone says, "What's up?" they reply, "I'll text you." WHAT ABOUT US?
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@Home_Halfway: What if Rafiki was just holding Simba up to the light to make sure he wasn't counterfeit
@OutrageousM: "What's a good gift for someone who has everything?" Meth. Next year they'll have nothing it'll be easier.
@stevevsninjas: [Earth, looking at her face in mirror after a date] Oh, no! How long has that volcano been there?