@ddsmidt: People with house arrest ankle bracelets get so touchy when you compare them to a dog's invisible fence.
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@WarrenHolstein: Save money this Halloween by utilizing last years' hobo costume to dress up as this year's federal employee.
@tastefactory: JOB INTERVIEWER: So what are your biggest weaknesses? HE-MAN: Well, I- *job interviewer's fake mustache falls off and it's Skeletor*
@GoldenSpirals: Ask a man if he's critiquing your work... Men Who Are Dating say: No, & compliment you. Single Men say: Yes Married Men: Try to hide
@briangaar: "Congratulations, the baby's got green overalls!" Peach sobs. Mario flies into a rage.