@ddsmidt: People with house arrest ankle bracelets get so touchy when you compare them to a dog's invisible fence.
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@FeralCrone: 4yo son said the word prototype. When I asked him what it meant, he said "People are a prototype" and I was too scared to ask what he meant.
@TheCiscoKidder: Choose your pet name wisely because you'll be yelling it out in your neighborhood if you lose them. *uses falsetto voice* MR. SMOOCHES!!
@thenatewolf: *on a first date* Me: [remembering how my friend said women like mysterious men] my favorite color is a secret
@markydoodoo: IDEA: UberQuiet. You pay a little bit more but your driver never says a word to you.