@GreenishDuck: People with little chains that go from a nose piercing to an earring probably just got sick of losing their ears.
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@Midgetspar: Teleportation seems like an awesome idea until Creepy Stan from down the street is suddenly washing your back in the shower.
@MasterOfMoppets: These coffee flavored rice cakes are delicious, but chewy. [eats another coaster]
@comedyfish: If you give someone some Beethoven CDs for a gift and they don't like it, you can always take them Bach
@Dschnoeb: A woman on the subway this morning said "did you know the government is closed? Is it a holiday or something?" So really, we deserve this.