@myles_morrison: People with profile pictures of their kids. Stop it. All I can think is, why are these toddlers trying to add me on facebook?
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@sammyrhodes: One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
@TheRolo: Her: Why did you text me "High Fructose Corn Syrup?" Me: I think you're sweet... Her: ...Awwww... Me: ...and will eventually kill me.
@NotJPo: In my house there are 5 females, 9423 pony tail holders, 49 bottles of nail polish, 8 justin bieber posters & 1 very patient, worn down man.