@BasicLyes: People wonder why I move to a new place every couple years. The truth is, I'm being chased by a snail with a grenade and a vendetta.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheTweetOfGod: On one hand, eating meat is bad for your body, bad for animals and bad for the earth. On the other hand, bacon.
@KeetPotato: [me giving a tour of pillow factory] guy: "what do you fill the pillows with?" me: [spotting a family of ducks in tour group] "just stuff"
@farleftcoast: Text from husband: Where are you at? Me: Before I tell you let's talk about ending sentences with prepositions.
@lecalabara: I was holding the door for an Asian guy and he said "sank you." So I punched him. Cant believe that he brought up Pearl Harbor lke that