@BasicLyes: People wonder why I move to a new place every couple years. The truth is, I'm being chased by a snail with a grenade and a vendetta.
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@joeljeffrey: I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonalds after he threw his fries on the ground, so I also threw mine on the ground.
@MyPornKhan: I'm guessing the person who decided how to spell "queue" and "okay" got paid by the letter.
@poppiesandcake: If what we are doing here is art, then my Tweets could be classified as kindergarten finger painting.
@iAmDelFreaky: Waking up with morning wood is one thing, but waking with Elijah Wood is just creepy. I calmed down once I stared into his beautiful eyes.