@MikeCanRant: People wont mess with you if you eat a cup of yogurt and then smash it on your forehead because youre tough and have healthy bowel movements
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@cepheusjackson: MUGGER: Empty your pockets! ME: But these are cargo shorts. (45 min later) ME: That's the left one MUGGER: Seriously. ME: I am SO sorry
@TheThomason: Kid, if you don't know whether your Batman costume is pre or post reboot continuity, you don't deserve candy. Also, Batman doesn't cry.
@shegotagronk: My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere.