@MikeCanRant: People wont mess with you if you eat a cup of yogurt and then smash it on your forehead because youre tough and have healthy bowel movements
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@DraggingFeeties: "Your meal is being prepared and should be delivered in 30-45 minutes" Perfect. Just enough time to eat a sleeve of Oreos.
@farahfergie: I bet "jerk chicken" is that chicken that cuts others off when the other chickens are trying to cross the road.
@evidentlyblonde: When people ask me "plz" because its shorter than "please".. I just tell them "no" because its shorter than "yes."