@MikeCanRant: People wont mess with you if you eat a cup of yogurt and then smash it on your forehead because youre tough and have healthy bowel movements
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@Boleyngirly: I slept like a rock last night meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
@DirtMcTurd: "Heres your social security card, you need it forever! Its made of paper, don't laminate it. Good luck." -The Government
@sageboggs: My family doesn't have a swear jar, but we do have a totes perf jar. If you say totes or perf, we throw a jar at you
@moose_chocolate: I bet a cool thing would be to play musical chairs using toilets and call it "Game of Thrones".