@JulieSnark: Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kevinrowe1: I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.
@Reverend_Scott: Recent studies link bacon to cancer. "Ya, don't eat bacon, you'll get so much cancer", said one pink scientist.
@tacos_y_cerveza: CW: Can I ask you something? Me: Don't talk to me until I've had coffee. CW: But you don't drink coffee. Me: *smiles and continues to work
@mlinhart: LIFE HACK: If ur phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, rice will attract Asians who will fix ur electronics for you