@KittyShittyy: Perks of dating me : I'm too lazy to cheat on you
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@JTQuest: Can we please be straight here- when you hit the wrong key by accident, that is a typo. When you can't spell the word, that is NOT a typo.
@iAmDelFreaky: When somebody unfollows me, I want to go on a shopping spree and walk into their house while holding bags and say, "Big mistake. Big. Huge!"
@XplodingUnicorn: [Barney the purple dinosaur comes on TV] 3-year-old: I hate this show. Me: What's wrong with it? 3-year-old: He never eats anybody.
@CoreyNotKori: My handwriting has slowly morphed from cheerleader to serial killer to elephant with a paint brush.