@preritpathak: Perks of dating me: You will be the hot one
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BritXNic: "Creepy DM: I want to shave your legs. Me: Ew" On reflection this would have been a real time saver. If you're reading this, call me?
@xeyednpainless: If you tell me to "chillax," I will "chillstab" you and "chillaugh" while you bleed to "chilldeath."
@dshack8: 50% of fatherhood is repeating yourself. Other 50% is untangling your kid from the shirt stuck on their head cause you didn't unbutton it.
@squirrel74wkgn: My wife's fish net stockings are so tight that my legs look like wafer cookies when I take them off.