@DurtMcHurtt: Perms are just rad skateparks for lice.
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@GrantTanaka: Mom: I HEARD UR SICK Me: just a cold Mom: U HAVE THE ZIKA M: no I- Mom: OH GOD IT'S ZIKA M: mom- Mom: I TRIED TO RAISE U RIGHT M: wait, what
@DamienFahey: Please pray for my friends' 4-year-old. They found out today 7 minutes of his life wasn't photographed or videotaped and put on Facebook.
@imdaintyaf: I'm sorry I punched you in the face when you said "I love you". Intimacy scares me. And you said it to my sister.