@mofrorock: Personal ad: Handsome man (29), seeks short, open minded women to poke him in the eye with umbrellas. Busy streets only. No names please.
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@TheToddWilliams: [backstage at GOP debate] AIDE: Mr. Trump needs his hair. CAT: I'm puking as fast as I can.
@squirrel74wkgn: I'm just saying honey, if I sound like a cat throwing up hair balls the next day...it may be time to trim things up a bit.
@ilovepie84: "When I'm done shitting on your car I'm going to watch your wife undress through her window"-Birds