@KenJennings: PERSONALITY TEST: When you read an obit where someone passes away "surrounded by family," do you picture murder, or suicide?
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@CauseWereGuys: The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' we should call it prosti..... oh wait.
@dave_cactus: ME: Well, time to make like a tree, and leaf. HER: *giggling* So, my place or... ME: *starts sprouting leaves from my fingers* HER: WHAT THE
@hippieswordfish: wife: im sick of him jeopardizing our marriage therapist: how do you respond to that kyle? me: ill take susan is being a huge baby for $600
@IamEnidColeslaw: my signature move is called "the Mouse," where I run around the dance floor wearing nothing but a tampon