@AndyAsAdjective: *personally visits the 7 friends who continually trap me in a rather chatty text message group & punches each of them in the face*
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@steveolivas: I like twitter because having one-sided conversations with virtually no feedback reminds me a lot of being a parent.
@bobvulfov: im gonna have a productive weekend *watches 3 seasons of a show* *organizes shirts by softness* *naps 5 times* ugh i never have enough time
@MissNaughty1801: Neighbour: if your son doesn't stop playing drums right now I'll lose my mind!! Me: too late...he's stopped half an hour ago
@Cheeseboy22: BREAKING NEWS: 23 injured while running with bulls. Authorities say injuries happened because folks were stupid enough to run... with bulls.