@TrainedHedonist: Perverts have made it so you can't even park your makeshift surveillance van conspicuously outside girls' college diving team meets anymore.
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@IrishVin: I love walking down the street smiling to myself. It really freaks people out. Especially if my trousers are round my ankles.
@daemonic3: DOCTOR: I have some bad news. You have HIV ROMAN: What?! DOCTOR: Do you have any questions at this time? ROMAN: Yes, wtf is H4?
@thefosterer: If I ever lose my girlfriend in the mall I just start checking other girls out and bam there she is yelling at me
@Ohgoddessitsme: When I'm driving I listen to the country station because it makes me want to get to my destination faster.