@TrainedHedonist: Perverts have made it so you can't even park your makeshift surveillance van conspicuously outside girls' college diving team meets anymore.
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@TheAlexP: [1st date] *recalls buddy said women like a manly man* *but also, be sensitive* I like to work with my hands, But splinters make me cry.
@trouteyes: BREAKING: A man who took British Airways to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
@Jandalize: Sometimes it's hard to nap at work. Like, when the boss is standing beside you or when you don't have a job.