@DaddyJew: Peter Pan is my favorite story about how running away from all your problems will allow you to remain youthful and to possibly fly someday
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@Maxine12333: Friend gave me a 'stress' ball to squeeze when I'm tense. Did what I always do when nervous, I ate it.
@carlyken: Whoa I'm floating! Am I...dead? "No it's a dream" What a relief! Wait. Who said that? Grim Reaper: (mutters) shit Uh nobody go back to sleep
@KelFocker: A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
@LeahsLounge: Her: Ok you hang up. Him: No, you hang up first. Her: No, you first. Him: No, you first. NSA: Both of you hang up.