@jonnysun: *pets a duck* helo litle friemd u used to b a dinosuar
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@novicefather: [william shakespeare as an 8yo] dad: bedtime william: dost thou not... dad: [interrupting] STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!
@clarkekant: Obama says he’s pro-vaccine, GOP comes out against it. Now Obama needs to express his support for breathing.
@bigmacher: As long as Apple doesn't announce Ben Affleck as the new iPhone I think everything is going to be OK.