@AmishPornStar1: Petulant: (defn.) a cat or dog you let a friend borrow
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@Amrrwise: Dear spouse: When I said I needed more physical contact, I was not aiming for you to high five me whenever I walk by...
@LaurenRP: I went outside without makeup on. A child cried and I think a bird flew into a window on purpose.
@Black__Elvis: I wanted to major in marine biology but those guys get pretty upset when you follow them into the latrine with a tape measure.