@EdgarAllanLo: Pharaohs were buried with their arms crossed over their chests because ancient Egyptians believed they took a waterslide into the afterlife.
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@Smooheed: Tonight I realized that I gaze at cheese in much the same way that first time mothers gaze at their newborns
@JanieBoBanie3: I see your eyes lookin me up and down, baby. Mhmm. Huh? Toilet paper hangin out of my pants? Oh.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Pediatrician: How much water does she drink? Me: You mean like water water or bath water?