@EdgarAllanLo: Pharaohs were buried with their arms crossed over their chests because ancient Egyptians believed they took a waterslide into the afterlife.
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@Darlainky: A bank safety deposit box may seem extreme, but you don't understand how hard it is to hide a box of Girl Scout cookies from my family.
@MrJeberling: -Sir we found hot glue in her ears nose and mouth, seems she suffocated. -Well whoever did this must be pretty....crafty. -Go to hell sir.
@QwertyJones3: "What'd you do this weekend?" I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino?" *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.