@Iwriteforcats: Pharmacies could save a lot of hassle and just have customers walk through a denim detector to see if they're cooking meth.
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@sixthformpoet: The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
@smedlee: The worst thing about when someone tells you to chillax is what to do with their corpse.
@ClickBaite: [Genie] Last wish idiot, impress me. [Me] I want Morgan Freeman to narrate my eulogy [drops dead] [Morgan Freeman] He was an idiot.