@Iwriteforcats: Pharmacies could save a lot of hassle and just have customers walk through a denim detector to see if they're cooking meth.
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@notacroc: [Arriving late to work] Boss: *looks at watch* fourth day this week Me: also known as Thursday, Jerry
@scorpicpanda: I only watch French tv shows so my dogs think I'm more cultured than I actually am.
@primawesome: The power steering went out in my car. Rather than fix it I've decided to get stronger.
@KateWhineHall: *runs in place* *cracks knuckles* *stretches neck* *takes a deep breath* *heads toward buffet*