@Iwriteforcats: Pharmacies could save a lot of hassle and just have customers walk through a denim detector to see if they're cooking meth.
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@FeverFlave: [inventing worcestershire sauce] Lea: We'll bottle pickled anchovy juice and name it unpronounceable. Perrins: That might work.
@Social_Mime: Wife - We're invited to a gender reveal party. Me - I always knew Ralph wanted to be a woman. W - It's for a baby Me - Ralph is pregnant?
@AndDesist: I regularly have gold plaques and 1st place ribbons made up for my liver so it knows just how much I appreciate all it's hard work.
@TheMichaelRock: I forgot my work ethic at home today, but I did remember to bring my shenanigans and debauchery.