@kelter1: Pharrell Williams put out a fire on Kim Kardashian's dress this week. Dude is really taking that Smokey the Bear hat of his to heart.
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@JediGigi: Him: You need to work on your communication skills Me: [through megaphone right up in his face] PLEASE BE MORE SPECIFIC
@bathflyer: A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day.
@peachgrenade: It's ironic that my sitcom about Abraham Lincoln was shot in front of a live audience.
@animaldrumss: Arnold Palmer: get me a refreshing drink Barkeep: try this, its lemonade and iced tea Arnold Palmer: Mmm... its good... I just invented it.