@iheartgunts: Phil Collins' "In The Air Tonight" is the best ever song about a silent but deadly fart.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ohen39: [having girl over] me: I work from home her: I thought u were a wildlife photographer *loud lion noises from bedroom* me: ignore that
@TheRobCee: [labels account "18+"] [tweets exclusively about voting & buying cigarettes legally]
@freypalm: College guy: [massaging head] Oh man I got so trashed last night. Raccoon: [massaging stomach with his little raccoon paws] Me too man.
@5hael: Thanks for saying 'on your mobile' in your bio, for a moment I thought you might be tweeting like me, from a calculator in the psych ward