@UnFitz: I remember when it was called "drinking a glass of water" instead of "hydrating."
@TheBoydP: The ruling that legal papers can now be "served" on Facebook is ridiculous. Don't they know the people they're looking for are on twitter?
@Birdhumms: "Your sense of entitlement is destroying our relationship"
*me to my dog while trying to eat without having to share.
@thepatrickwalsh: Tom Cruise has never starred in a movie where his character description didn't include the word "hotshot."
@PopSlapFunk: 5: "Dad, to be the man of the house, you need to wear pants."
Me: ...
5: ...
Me: "It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Job's all yours."
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