@KattsDogma: Photographer: Ok. You two hold hands, & u, in the back, hold a gun to that guy's head. Nice. I'll add blush in post.
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@ConanOBrien: I’m trying to convince my Seattle in-laws the new travel ban means we can’t visit them this summer.
@KyleMcDowell86: "Wanna see videos from my vacation?" *shows home video of me eating a raccoon under a bridge "This is the wrong video" "No this is right"
@michaelianblack: Every picture I've seen of Neil Patrick Harris the last ten years has been of him adjusting his shirt cuffs. He needs better shirts.
@GingerGander: Man texted: "I want you to be my little angle." I answered: "Do you want me to be obtuse, right, or acute?" Two days have passed, no reply.