@WheelTod: "Pick a card, any card, make sure you memorize it, now put it back with the rest": me, with my wife at the Hallmark Store on Valentine's Day
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@LindaInDisguise: I just referred to tongs as 'food tweezers' in case you want to be in awe of my command of the English language.
@TheRealRHB: Whoever first said "No news is good news" never had their cable & Internet go out for two days
@sad_tree: [getting my picture taking with the sports team mascot] "I know you're not really an armadillo"
@amishschool: My wife yelled, "This is the LAST TIME I'm going to tell you to take out the trash", and I thought, thank goodness THAT is finally over.