@caseytduncan: Pick a card, any card. No, not that one. Not that one, either.
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@mjkspeaks: [at airport] TSA: sir, you’ve been randomly chosen for a cavity search. ME: that’s cool i didn’t know my flight included a dental cleaning
@DearAuntAbby: I need to pick up a random hunky guy in a bar, bring him home, have him invite a friend, and THEN mention that I need furniture rearranged
@Scott_A_Gilmore: Ladies, if he says he would go to the "end of the earth" for you and then he goes missing, check Finland.