@caseytduncan: Pick a card, any card. No, not that one. Not that one, either.
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@kadyngriffiths: Dream girl: -tall -skinny -can pull off wearing a hat -honest -a fan of the theater -abolished slavery -is Abraham Lincoln
@ashley_barnhill: So you kill them with kindness but then what do you do with the bodies WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE BODIES SO MANY BODIES OH GOD
@Brianhopecomedy: I want to be important enough to receive a phone call, say one word, hang up and having the end result being something blown up.
@AaronFullerton: To gangs that carve their names into public toilet seats: A) Why? B) Haha, you touched a public toilet seat.