@dragnut: Picture someone stepping down off a curb that they didn't realize was there. Now you can say you've seen me dance.
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@DurtMcHurtt: [girlfriend in a coma] *leans in close to whisper* babe, if you can hear me...where the hell did you buy that zesty mayo?
@SortaBad: "I'd like to make a large cash deposit" teller: ok, how much do you have? "Wow can't a guy just share his dreams without being pressured?"
@ohen39: wife: I just got stung by a jellyfish. quick, pee on it me: [peeing on jellyfish] this is for stinging my wife