@dragnut: Picture someone stepping down off a curb that they didn't realize was there. Now you can say you've seen me dance.
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@BuckyIsotope: [on first date] Yes I'll have the- *whispers to waiter* I don't speak French *points at menu* "The French toast, sir?" Yeah. 6 of those.
@themorris23: In the car and passed by a cop and my 12 year old says "everyone be cool! Act normal!" Expecting that Father of the Year award any day now
@ehchinoo: Teach a man to shake and he will be able to greet everyone. Give a man a shake and all the boys will come to his yard
@CelebrityChez: Just saw a fly on my flight and all I could think was what a lazy piece of shit.